christmas...

Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent my teacher just now:

I feel like I’ve been super cynical about the holidays this year with all the anti-consumerism/capitalism and all that. Though I don’t think I’ll ever lose my Kommunist ideals, I shouldn’t let it cloud my ability to perceive and partake in the good things, however small. Even though consumerism is alive and well and incredibly prevalent, it doesn’t mean that the ideas of getting together with family/friends and enjoying their company can’t exist.

I think I forgot that this year. When [classmate] gave me that vegan muffin and told me she was giving them out to strangers, I realised my mistake. Vanilla Bastard bought/gave us all presents, too. I didn’t do or give anything to anyone. Sure, I didn’t want to participate in all that shopping madness, but I could’ve baked or made cards or something akin to that.

I don’t want to get lost in my cynicism. I know many who rejoice in that. I don’t need it.